EVIL DEAD (2013) REVIEW

Ok let's get down to it.  The original Evil Dead from 1981 is my favorite horror movie ever.  Crazy low budget, insanely good production values considering, and terrific performances.  When I read online that Sam Raimi would be producing a remake I was a little iffy.  Now I don't jump on the "All Remakes Are of the Devil" train.  I tend to enjoy them actually when they are done well (The Hills Have Eyes), but I was more than a little concerned that the magic of the original Evil Dead wouldn't translate to 2013.

BOY WAS I WRONG.

Let me start off by giving a little plot for yo' ratchety asses.  Meet David, a brooding, sensitive, yet I think he has a past brother to Mia, a great big ol druggie.  They meet up at a remote family cabin with Natalie (David's girlfriend who was instantly likeable), Olivia (a nurse who I wanted to see die immediately), and Eric (some douche with glasses).  As an audience we aren't given too much info on the relationships of these people or even how they all know each other.  The only thing we need to know is that they are all here to help Mia kick her "powder in a plastic bag" habit.  After a ritualistic disposing of the drugs Mia begins withdrawals and begins to flip out over smells in the basement.  Upon investigation our lovely disposables find a ritual site filled with hooks, dead cats, a burnt post, and a strange package containing a leather bound book.  Douche with glasses begins to read it....invisible demon from woods shows up....Mia gets plowed by an couple of Sycamores and the rest is history.  Deadites everywhere.

                                                    you big demon lezzy.


I really don't want to compare the two films although it's hard not to so I'll give ya the pros.  I really liked that there was nary a cell phone to be found in this movie.  Thank you to the screenwriters.  We eliminate the problem of a cell phone age by not even bringing it up.  Brilliant.  We also have a reason to be at this cabin and a reason to STAY.  Mia had escaped rehab before and overdosed a number of times so the friends make a pact to keep her there.  Since she is the first possessed they are to assume she is just coming down and thats why she's acting like a cunt on wheels.  So our reasonings to stay at this cabin are very sound.  Good job.

Secondly, the suspense.  In this movie there are lots...and I mean lots of noises to make you squirm.  My friend watched most of the movie with his hands over his ears awaiting the jump scares.  Now....the jump scares in this movie are not trivial at all....in fact they are awesome and really add to the experience.  There are totally relentless sequences in this movie that will make you uncomfortable in a great way such as a sequence with a nail gun that was my favorite part of the movie.

Next we go to GORE.  Now ya can't have an Evil Dead movie without lots of gore and trust me...this movie delivers.  We get LOTS of cool stuff: a face removal, nail gun punctures,  a sawed off arm, a tongue splitting, a head bashing, a hand ripped off, and a piece at the very end that amps it up BIG TIME.  If you like gore this movie gives it to you.  And I'm not talkin CGI craptastic gory bits...but good, old fashioned corn syrup BLOOD everywhere.

                                      ooh girl....you shonuff DID honey.

The performances are great, especially by the actress playing Mia.  She really is right up there with Cheryl from the original movie.  As to be expected the characters aren't very fleshed out (until they start ripping the flesh out) but who cares....it's a friggin gore movie.  MINOR SPOILER.  The only thing I would change is I would make "The Abomination" toward the end of the film a little more spectacular.  She was just a regular girl...and after years in hell I would want her to be more demon like or creature-ey.  Is that a word?

ANYWAYS...DO check this one out.  Easily the best theatrically released horror movie of the year.

It gets 3 YES GIRLS and 1 half Oooh bitch.